Words of Affirmation
Shortly after The Hubs and I were married, we started going to a young married couples sunday school class at church. Now, we aren’t really church-goers anymore, but we learned two important things in that class for the brief period of time we were there:
1) our love languages
2) that sunday school is so not for us
Let’s just focus on the first for this post, shall we? Thanks.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, I think you should find the time to read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It really will give you insight into how people think and the different ways that people show love toward one another. I have honestly used the love languages more in friendships than I have in my marriage.
I don’t want to give you all the love languages today, but I do want to tell you about mine and The Hubs.’ My love language is “Words of Affirmation.” Its only fitting really, that the most talkative person on earth uses words to show her love to others. I don’t just use spoken words, but written words, music, etc, etc. Telling The Hubs that I love him might not feel like enough for me on a given day, so I will go out of my way to find him the perfect greeting card. You know, the kind with an adorable little boy and girl on the front, sitting on a park bench and sneaking a little kiss. The inside, of course, is always blank, because this is where my words come in.
The Hubs’ love language is “Acts of Service.” Damn, he’s good at that kind of stuff too, like cleaning the house, washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, bathing the dogs, cleaning my car. You get the picture.
The real kicker about love languages is knowing someone else’s language and showing them love in that manner. For example, I may write a card to The Hubs telling him how thankful I am for everything he does and how much I love him, but that would not even measure up to actually doing an act of service for him, like mopping the floors or something else I absolutely hate. He would be way more pleased with that than with a card. And I would, of course, be thrilled if he actually picked out a card for me and wrote a little love note inside.
But we don’t do these things for each other as often as we should. He will continue to clean the house while I write him cards that he doesn’t care about. But I try. I try to remember to do the dishes for him before he gets home from work, knowing he’ll notice and be super happy. And he tries to tell me how much he loves me every single day. So, it works.
I’ve used this little tidbit of knowledge with family and friends, as well. Do you know someone who is always buying gifts for people, even for no occasion at all? That, my friends, is another love language. So what do you think would be the best way to show that person how much you love them? Buying them a gift, of course!
The final two love languages are quite simple, really: quality time and physical touch.
What love language are you? Do you know someone who will benefit from this? Read the book. Thank me later.
