Last weekend, our friends Amanda and Matt visited from the Smokey Mountains to help us finish the nursery. Matt was Drew’s heavy-lifting buddy and Amanda was my giggling partner in crime. We really had a great time seeing our old friends!
About 10 minutes before they left to go back home, Matt stood in my kitchen, eating a gloriously warm cinnamon roll, and asked, “Are you nervous? About the baby?”
Oddly enough, nobody has asked me this yet. I started thinking about it and quickly answered in the negative. No, I am not nervous about the responsibility of becoming a parent, as I’m sure most first-timers are. Somehow, my mind is at ease when it comes to thinking about holding that little boy in my arms, feeding him in a way that only I can, and loving him more than I ever thought I could. I’m not even nervous about how little sleep I will get or how busy my life will become, or how those cloth diapers aren’t going to wash themselves. Those everyday responsibility issues? Not a problem.
But I am nervous. I’m scared out of my mind about the bad stuff that can happen. My thoughts linger on the morbid side of things a bit too often, so you can imagine the possibilities running through my head. Basically, it’s the uncontrollable things in this world that make me nervous.
But that’s ok. We’ll get through it. I can already tell that Westley is a strong little boy, and he does have the most amazing parents ever (totally kidding). We’ll get through it.