How to become a pirate in 5 easy steps.
The Hubs is most likely going to become a pirate in a few hours. How is he going to go through this transformation, you ask? Well, its more complicated than it seems. There is a series of steps one must follow in order to take a ride on the Black Pearl. Aaaaaaand here they are:
1. Have a “good eye” and a “bad eye.” This is essential. One doesn’t become a pirate with 20/20 vision.
2. Schedule surgery for the “bad eye”:, just because that’s what a normal person would do. But remember, you are not normal if you aspire to be a pirate. DUH!
3. Exactly one week (ONE week) before your surgery, make sure your “good eye” goes rogue…cause you’re a PIT (Pirate In Training) and that’s how you roll.
4. Leave your “bad eye” alone, just the way any normal timber-shiverin’ scalywag would do, and schedule a new surgery for your “good eye.”
*Confused yet?
5. Make sure this surgery is high risk and DO NOT LEAVE the doctor’s premises without a brand spankin’ new eye patch as a souvenir. You can just tell people you stole it from a little kid. They will completely understand…because you are a pirate.
And THAT, my friends, is how you become a pirate, which The Hubs is trying to do today. Please be thinking of him during his PRE (Pirate Record Examination). I’m sure he will appreciate your thoughts.
P.S. All pirate jokes aside, I am actually quite scared. As positive a person as I am, I have an incredibly morbid mind and all I can think about is the worse case scenario here…so I resort to pirate jokes…for my sanity. Please keep us in your thoughts today.
Tuesday 17, 2010
He’ll make a great pirate. And you are a great pirate’s wench. And I know he’ll come through the surgery with flying colors. Thinking good thoughts for you guys today. Promise him when he’s resting, he can watch as much Twilight as he wants and you won’t judge him. (Out loud, anyway.)
Tuesday 17, 2010
Hope things went well today!