What they don’t tell you.
You grow up. You have big dreams. You rack up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans, unless you are that lucky piss ant that gets his or her college education paid for, to whom I say, “Screw. You.” And then, finally, you try your hardest to get a damn job. But no. Not gonna happen. Because, apparently, you have to have EXPERIENCE to get a job. As if your fucking college education wasn’t good enough. Kinda like that time you tried to get a student credit card (because after all, ALL the students are getting them because they are poor, helpless STUDENTS), but they wouldn’t give you a lick of credit without, you guessed it, credit.
So how, you may ask, do you get by without a job? All you have is a degree that cost a fortune and took a huge chunk out of your life just so that you could regurgitate the scientific method, one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, and Freud’s thoughts on screwing his mother. Give me a fucking break.
I’m in this exact situation. And it sucks ass. I will admit that I did actually get a job immediately upon graduating, but that only meant that I spent the next year of my life in absolute hell, crying in my classroom closet and begging (BEGGING!) rich teenagers to shut the fuck up. (I did not use the word fuck. That would have gotten me fired.) I will also admit that I took a year-long hiatus from anything degree-related to pursue a dead-end cake decorating career, which only left me feeling helpless and without any room for growth in my life. Sure, it was fun, but it wasn’t taking me anywhere.
So now that I’ve actually figured out the system, figured out where to really look for jobs in my field, I am yet again left by the wayside. According to all 6 jobs I spent hours applying for today (which oddly came back very quickly), this is how they felt about me: “Reviewed – Failed Basic Qualifications – No further consideration of application will be made.” I failed the BASIC qualifications! Do you know what this means? It means I suck. It means I am a failure. It means I am about to be on the couch, left to my own devices, and watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for the 23rd time…because that is what I do when I get depressed and feel like there is no way out…I travel to a fantasy world and pretend I can perform magic with my mad jedi mind skills. Although, some would say that I live in a fantasy world all the time, I would have to disagree. You just think I live in a fantasy world, because I make it look easy to forget about life’s troubles. What’s really happening inside my head is constant thinking, constant nonstop contemplation of the world and what it has to offer me, what I have to offer it. And then, after one long stride and a huge freakin’ leap, I fall flat on my face, veg out on the couch in my misery, and start all over again the next day. This is my life cycle. This is how I deal with shit.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be going. I have a movie to watch. And a tissue to dry my tears.
P.S. My apologies for this incredibly profane and emo post, but I had to write this. I had to express what I couldn’t say out loud. If you are still here, still reading: Thank you. From the bottom of my poor little achy breaky heart.
Tuesday 10, 2010
I’m sorry, I hope that things get better for you soon. I almost feel like we have too much choice these days, and it makes life more difficult sometimes. I hope you manage to find what you’re looking for.
Tuesday 10, 2010
I’m sorry it’s an emo time right now, and I hope the job hunt improves. What area do you want to get into? I remember feeling terrified right out of college. I solved it by hiding out in grad school for a while (which often equals more debt), then working in a job that gave me experience even though it didn’t mach my interests.
Hope things are looking up soon!
Tuesday 10, 2010
Ev, I totally know where you are! The hubs is about to graduate from grad school with a maters degree in architecture, and I am pretty sure he won’t find a job that’s worth anything. Lack of experience sucks balls. I’m so lucky that I started my photography business, but I still have to serve tables part time to pay the bills. I’m 22K in college debt, and J is about 60K. Together, we’re a debt nightmare, and it is all so overwhelming. WTF … Our parents were all like “you have to go to college to be something”, ha. I’m thinking that was all BS. Keep your head up! I know you’re an amazing person that will do something bigger than teaching, or baking cakes
)
Tuesday 10, 2010
You don’t know me and I don’t remember how I found you, but I totally get where you are right now. I spent July submitting something like 15 job applications and am now spending August reading the emails that say “Unfortunately, you did not score high enough to receive further consideration”… but even those emails are better than the black holes that some of the applications apparently were sent to. I feel you. Wanna watch Harry Potter with me? I have #4, 5, and 6 on DVD, we could make it a marathon.
Tuesday 10, 2010
Sometimes things just suck. And when that happens, you can be sad and be lazy and watch as much HP as you want because when things suck, a break is okay.
I wish I could hire you to be Awesome because you are super good at that. Unfortunately, my budget is too limited. Unless you’d like to be paid in haiku and accolades. No?
Regardless of how things are now, I know something is out there and that you’ll find it and that you won’t always feel like this.
Tuesday 10, 2010
I totally here ya on the student loan front. And for those who walk out with little to no debt – ugghh. Heck I have a job and except for a year in grad school I”ve been paying for about 9 years now and OMG..payments for.the.rest.of.my.life!! Even though I’m okay with my job/career. I see it in everyone, including myself, in our generation..we’re antsy, we want to explore for that right fit, for that satisfying job. No longer are the days of 30+ years at a company and just becoming comfortable and paying the bills. Something will eventually click for you and you will definitely know it when you find it!! p.s. maybe you could start by offering some cheap photo sessions on craigslist. Too bad you didn’t live closer (we’re in New England)..my husband and I moonlight in wedding video and always love to recommend new photogs.
[...] my little rant made it sound like I don’t know what I want to do with my life, career-wise. That is simply [...]